Pages From John

Tag: pain

  • Trust me. I know…

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to be wronged.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to do wrong.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to lie to myself that I don’t know what I am doing wrong.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to want to prove all those people in the past wrong.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to believe I am alone in my pain.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to hate the world.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to hate myself.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to place myself above others at the same time.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to lie.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to want revenge.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to hurt those that care about me.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to make mistakes and hide them under a rug.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to reject the realness of love out of fear.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to be a coward.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to be jealous.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to want to show them how stupid they all are.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to have rage.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to pride myself as perfect.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to expect perfection from others.

    Trust me. I know what it feels like to have let down expectations.

    But also trust me on this…

    I know what it feels like to forgive.

    It is never too late.

    Forgive. Everyone, including yourself.

    Actually forgive.

    Trust me. I know it is hard.

    But it will never end otherwise.

    Dethrone pain and fear.

    For yourself. For love. For your life.

    And when I make my future mistakes…

    I hope I will again try to turn around.

  • A Cup of Tea with Love

    As I fall in love with Love, Love sits me down for a chat with a cup of tea.

    “So you are in love with me?” Love asks.

    “Falling in love…” I correct Love.

    “And how far will you go?” Love asks.

    “I think I want to love you entirely,” I look into Love’s twisted eyes.

    “Are you ready for that?” Love asks.

    “I think so,” I say with pride.

    “You see… You don’t yet understand what that really means. You have some strength but you are still very weak,” Love sips on some tea.

    “What do you mean?”

    “You love the sunshine. You love the beautiful songs. You love your wonderful family. You love dogs that lick your face. You love the opportunities you have been given. You love your ability to see, hear, feel, and speak. You love your breathing lungs. You love your pain and what it has taught you. You love the books you have read. You love the hope that fills your heart. And you love the people that come as heroes when disaster strikes,” Love smiles. “And that is why I love you too! But haven’t you been told that I am so much more than that? You love me for my sunshine and rainbows, but what about my rain?”

    “I have told you that I love my pain and what it has taught me so of course I love your rain!” I protest.

    “But are you ready to understand that Love is everything? There is nothing else…”

    “Oh.”

    “This is my song,” Love says.

    “How is it that I am always wrong?” I ask.

    “Does that bother you?” Love asks.

    “Yes and no,” I chuckle.

    “You know I am always right?”

    “Yes,” I say.

    “Even when I am wrong?” Love asks.

    “Your wrongness only creates a brighter rightness,” I say.

    “Love,” Love says.

    “Love,” I say.

    “So you are in love with me!” Love winks and sticks out her tongue.

    We silently finish our tea. It warms the inside.