Judas or John?

My betrayal of myself was difficult to face,

As it didn’t come from an ill-intentioned place.

To be Judas is truly an awful fate,

But I learned before it was too late.

I sold myself for thirty pieces of coin,

But now with my heart, I must rejoin.

I wish to be John and give my love to itself,

Not blindly following strategies off-the-shelf.

I have attempted to ignore, punish, and even sugarcoat,

But now I see that forgiveness with love is the only antidote.

Forgiveness is my powerful tool,

To confront my Enemy: me, the fool.

I love my Enemy and made my peace,

So my life is no longer on lease.

I have gotten out of my own way,

I have found the light of day!