It is a story that is told in your village and mine,
A story that exists within the sacred body’s shrine.
A story of the Hero, oh so devout and strong,
And what I will ask you to do, might seem a bit wrong.
This story is different all throughout the world,
A story with various details as it is unfurled.
In my modern home, the Hero wears many faces,
Ah yes, in America, the Hero covers all the bases.
The Hero is Jesus, but more than what is told in the Bible,
Ah yes, the American Hero Jesus is a whole lot more tribal.
He is great at football and fitness and sports,
And he is a masculine man, so he never wears shorts.
He owns a house with a nicely painted fence,
And his accounting is perfect, never losing two cents.
His family really loves him, don’t forget the cuddly dog too,
And a Mexican helps with the yard and especially the poo.
Jesus wears a big cape with the Stars and Stripes,
Drugs? He wouldn’t be caught dead with those types!
Beer is of course fine, he is truly a man,
But too fruity of drinks aren’t ever in his plan.
Lastly, he is rich! And he worked hard to earn it,
When he was a kid, he never learned “quit”.
He is the American Hero! He isn’t the only one.
In America there are many Heroes, doubling the fun.
If you should see this Hero, somewhere in your mind,
I have only one recommendation, once you make the find.
Sneak up slowly behind, the Hero might hear you come,
After all the Hero is smart, no one ever makes him dumb.
Carry a knife, and make it hidden under your shirt,
For you are about to make a stab, and yes, it will hurt.
Slit his throat, as he is looking the other way,
And watch the Hero’s blood go off with a spray.
He falls to the ground, looking you in the eyes,
Still with a smile is how this Hero dies.
The Hero is dead, American Jesus is gone!
And now, in your mind, a new God will dawn.
For God is not interested in your imitation,
Thus making Heroes everyone’s limitation.
Kill the Hero! Before it is too late,
For the real you is not bound to his fate.
Carry your Cross! The only one you got,
Not a single Hero’s Cross needs to be brought.